The Love Paradox is Not a Self-Help Book
The problem with the self-help movement is that the very person in need of help is also responsible for seeking and engaging the help needed. It’s like trying to elevate yourself by grabbing your own ankles and pulling up really hard. No matter the effort, no matter your strength, or the sincerity of your intentions, you remain earthbound.
If, on the other hand, a strong and helpful friend provides a loving embrace and lifts you upward in a gesture of joy/delight, you will indeed leave the earth, even if however brief. You were lifted up!
The point? Self-help is oxymoronic. Real help can only come from outside our person. It is why the Bible’s Book of Proverbs speaks so highly of true friends, “Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share trouble?” (Proverbs 17.17). Yet, as valuable as the love and company of a good friend is, all of us are all too aware of the failings and even betrayals of a friend. We need something–someone–more faithful than a friend for lasting help.
Real, permanent, and lasting help comes from outside of ourselves, for sure, but also outside of our ever-fluctuating universe too. Astronomers and physicists tell us the universe itself is in a constant state of flux — expanding, spinning, quantum particles mysteriously seeming to jump into and out of existence. The universe certainly provides great mystery but not much of what is known is fixed or stationary. We must look beyond the universe to Godly, Otherworldly Places for lasting Help. When we do, we find Help that actually seeks us out, knocks on our door while announcing He made the long trip to see you. His purpose and message? He’s come to assure you how valuable you are. He’s here to tell you you’re loved with an everlasting unconditional love. If you accept both His value of you and his love for you as Truth, He’ll pick you up in an embrace and you’ll leave earth, in time, forever.
The Love Paradox book, coaching, and resources are all designed to lift you up; to provide an invitation to illustrate how valued and valuable you are to God that you might let go of your ankles and enjoy his embrace. And here’s another paradox. If you accept his embrace, you’ll have more resources within you to love others. The paradox is that your grace, full reception of the Love of God as expressed in Jesus blesses others - as well as yourself. Thus, seven times the Bible says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Lev 19.18; Matt 22.37f; Mark 12.28f; Luke 10.27; John 13.34f; Gal 5.14; James 2.8)
The self-help trap of “I can do it by myself” (which is our human reflex) actually uses up bandwidth and diminishes available Love for others. This is true, in part, because it is exhausting trying to lift yourself up (not to mention frustrating).
The book, “The Love Paradox” and all of its accessories and resources are designed around this Gospel Truth. We have an Eternal Friend who paid a heavy price to come see us and lift us up. If we accept His Presence and Power (at least) two things happen:
Freedom and confidence to live, well, freely, are ours;
Everyone around us (our actual and metaphorical neighbors) is blessed.
That’s the strange Truth for parents, presidents, and pastors. Do you want to lead well? Serve well? Set clear vision? Work the mission?